T-shirt Thoughtcrime Scene Dystopian Surrealist Warning

The shirt is here. The shirt is not here. Do not look at the shirt. ​To look is to think, and to think is to commit the crime. But where is the body? There is no body. There is only the cotton. The cotton is innocent. It is 100% combed ringspun cotton, unless it is heather grey, in which case the cotton has conspired with polyester to deceive you. ​We live in a world where the walls have ears, the ears have eyes, and the eyes are wearing this T-shirt. It is a perfect garment for the modern Bobby Watson, or perhaps every Bobby Watson. ​A History of Silence: Did you know that the concept of the "Thought Police" (or Keisatsukan of the mind) isn’t purely an invention of Mr. Orwell’s fever dream? Consider the Panopticon, designed by English philosopher Jeremy Bentham in the late 18th century. It was a prison structure designed so that a single watchman could observe all inmates without them being able to tell whether they were being watched. The threat of observation created the discipline. This shirt performs the same function, but for your torso. It creates a boundary—a yellow tape of the psyche—declaring that a dangerous idea occurred right here, between the clavicle and the navel. ​Why You Must Purchase This Object: ​The Logic of the Absurd: If you wear the warning, you become the warning. If you are the warning, you cannot be the suspect. It is the only logical defense in an illogical world. ​Fabric Reality: Double-needle stitching exists. It is a tangible fact in a universe of fake news. The durability is real. The crime is imaginary. ​The Social Contract: Wear this to family gatherings, literary circles, or interrogations. It signals to the other rhinoceroses that you are aware of the absurdity of surveillance. ​Buy it before it becomes mandatory. Buy it before it becomes forbidden. The potatoes are boiling. The thoughts are criminal. The shirt is available in sizes S through 3XL. ​Machine wash cold. Do not bleach the truth.